bride to be?

iliza shlesinger, will you marry me? it would be great!
*you're incredibly attractive, i'm not bad looking; we'll call that one a wash
*you're a standup comic, i'm a sitcomedian; we'd complete each other! except not in those words, because that sounds cheesy
*we're both winners: you won last comic standing, i won an election

that's all i've got for now, unfortunately, but it's a start

i wish i were good enough to come up with this

the story of the obamessiah.

picture of the year

both accurate and absolutely hilarious, this picture has got my vote:


h/t: wizbang

hahaha! n00b.

though it's unfortunate that he took some civilians with him, the following is the quote of the month:

“Coming down the stairs, he fell down and exploded."

h/t say anything

those crazy spokanites

somehow, i survived this city for 3 years: children get repossessed.

h/t dave barry

no looking back

so, i'm guessing that this couple from michigan won't be making too many trips back to eastern washington:

Cow falls 200 feet onto van; Michigan couple escape injury Cow falls 200 feet onto van; Michigan couple escape injury
By Jaime Adame World staff writer
Posted November 05, 2007

MANSON — A cow fell about 200 feet off a cliff Sunday and landed on the hood of a minivan passing by Rocky Point about one mile east of Manson, officials said.

read the whole thing here.

now there's a fun idea

maybe instead of invading afghanistan and iraq and pissing off liberals everywhere, we could have tried something like this to free the two countries.

h/t dave barry

quote of the day

"As for the climate, you could take every dollar spent on "global warming" and blow it on internet porn, and the Earth's climate in 2050 will be pretty much what it would be anyway." --Mark Steyn

not only that, but your money would be doing much more for the economy. i say it's a win-win situation.

hooray for juxtaposition

so wrong, but so funny:



h/t say anything

what, behind the rabbit?

it is the rabbit!

this is what the dems want us to "redeploy" away from in iraq:

hooray! for political incorrectness

because you can never have too many videos

i saw this one over at wizbang awhile back, and found it absolutely hilarious.

quote of the day

mel gibson was right! the jews are apparently responsible for pretty much everything bad that happens, including the destructive acts by "palestinians" on what used to be jewish land:

Mr. Abir blamed the Jewish state for the desecration of the Gaza synagogues by Palestinian Arabs, claiming the decision to leave the structures intact was part of an Israeli conspiracy.

Israel "left the synagogues behind so the world would see the Palestinians destroying them," Mr. Abir said.

which is apparently why israel also decided to leave all of their cities intact, since according to the article linked above, "...the area in which the synagogues once stood is now used to fire rockets at Israel." (sarcasm) damn those jews for leaving all their cities standing! they should have burned them all to the ground and then run themselves into the sea! this is all part of a conspiracy, using our rocket attacks to make us look bad! (/sarcasm)

so far as i know, the jews have yet to be blamed for global warming, but i wouldn't be surprised to see that pop up sometime soon.

h/t say anything

that's just depressing...

sadly, this is a real article:

Condoms too big for most Indian men

Fri Dec 8, 6:40 AM ET

NEW DELHI (AFP) - Indian men's penises do not match international sizes and most condoms on sale in the country are too big, according to a medical study.

The Indian Council of Medical Research, the country's top health research institute, found 60 percent of men in Mumbai had penises at least 2.4 centimeters (one inch) shorter than international condom sizes, The Times of India newspaper said Friday.

For 30 percent, the gap was five centimeters (two inches), said a researcher quoted in the article headlined "Indian men don't measure up".

The institute surveyed 1,400 men visiting family planning clinics across the country to conduct the "Study on proper length and breadth specification for condoms".

The study was carried out in a bid to improve the sizing of condoms, which have a failure rate of up to 20 percent in India.

"While improper usage is one of the reasons, there is also condom slippage or tear, which is associated with the size of the condom in relation to an erect penis," said Dr Chander Puri, director of the councils National Institute for Research in Reproductive Health.

The effectiveness of condoms in India, which has a growing population of 1.1 billion, is an important issue as they have emerged as a vital safeguard against sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV-AIDS.

India has the world's highest HIV-AIDS caseload, with 5.7 million people living with the illness, according to UN figures.

who knew there was an international norm for condom sizes? also, they really shouldn't have shown any of those men's faces... they'll probably never live this article down.

h/t say anything

good to see that some people still have a sense of humor

john kerry, however, is not one of those people. i'm having trouble getting the embedded video to work, but i'm sure most of you have already heard his recent comment on our troops, as well as mr. kerry's blaming the whole thing on us right-wing nutjobs.

unlike mr. kerry, however, our troops do seem to have a sense of humor. thanks to lorie byrd, we now have their response:

so wrong, but so funny

messing with a telemarketer.