ow. just... ow.

this is why you never, ever, under any circumstances whatsoever, keep a gun tucked into your pants.

weird ad

this is probably one of the strangest things i have ever seen (warning: buttocks briefly involved).

miscellaneous bits and pieces

1) what an idiot
2) sweet fancy moses! this stuff is awesome.
3) this stuff? not so awesome. unless you're an illegal immigrant, of course.
4) ted kennedy will probably die peacefully in his sleep (or of alcohol poisoning), unlike the passenger in his car.

i could have told you that

this just goes to prove what we all knew already: weather forecasters are not exactly what we like to call "accurate."

h/t dave barry

who knew?

it's things like this that make me really look forward to becoming a medieval historian: underwear spreads literacy.

pwn3d! n00bs.

pwn3d by graffiti.

random thoughts

1) moths are attracted to light; so do they ever try flying at the sun or moon?
2) venom was incredibly emo. i would not have expected that.
3) sweet + creepy = sweepy
4) shocks are still surprising, even when you know they're coming.

hmmm...

some people, like me, work at a bank. other people, like this guy, mist topless women to keep them cool.

Happy Birthday!

To my favorite country, America... 231 years and still going strong.

new beers

i had these last weekend at the taphouse grill, in one of those cities that runs together to form the greater seattle area:

* kilt lifter scottish ale -- good
* elysian stout -- pretty good
* mac & jack porter -- pretty good
* ayinger celebrator dopplebock -- somewhere between pretty good and good

i also had fat tire on tap, which might have been a bad idea... it will never feel right drinking it out of a bottle any more.

post #900

note to self, and anyone else who cares to read it: drinking a bottle of bawls an hour before you plan on going to bed is a bad idea.

happy birthday!

to me! tomorrow, i turn 23.

also, it's been confirmed that i will have a job with the new bank when they take over next month. my position will be "Teller III;" i think it has an actual title to go along with it, but i'm not sure what it is. personally, i liked "Customer Service Representative" better, but i'll be making about $3000/year more, so i think it was a worthwhile trade.

an anniversary, of sorts

as of today, i've been with the bank i'm working at for two years. normally this means it's time for a raise, which my supervisor is definitely in favor of. however, we're in the process of going through a merge with another bank, and we're still not entirely sure who's still going to have a job and who isn't, which throws a bit of a wrench into the gears. i'm confident that i'll be kept on, but i'm not sure in what capacity. my supervisor has also suggested the possibility of a promotion (which, aside from a nicer title ["personal banker," maybe? who knows?], really just means more money... the job itself would stay pretty much the same), but since we're not sure where that would put me in the new bank's hierarchy, we're not sure if we can justify a promotion. hopefully by the end of this week, and definitely by the end of this month, i should know what's going on... until then, i'm keeping my fingers crossed.

one more reason to like jessica alba

she's all american, not the hyphenated type. not that we really needed any more reasons, but i'm certainly not complaining.

but they're just doing jobs americans won't...

like, you know, intentionally starting forest fires and attacking border patrol agents. (h/t say anything)

which statement, i'm sure, along with my support for this guy, probably makes me a horrible racist. or something like that.

quote of the day

from here:

"Edwards said he's not sure why Koda ate the car seats, but it could have been boredom."

out of context quotes

which, oddly enough, seem to fit well with each other:

1) "Hey guys, take a look down. Pretty impressive, huh?" maybe i've just got a dirty mind, but i was relieved to find out it was actually a shoe commercial.

2) "For a man, it is natural to use two hands to assist in removing one's penis." --Sir Stephen Richards

that last one was discovered thanks to the tireless efforts of our next president, dave barry.

good pilot + good jet = awesome

after a midair collision in a training run, an f-15 piloted by an israeli air force officer is badly damaged. after hitting the afterburners (of all things), he is able to stabalize the jet and fly the 10 miles back to the airfield; he is prepared to eject, however, because a spray of fuel from the right side of the jet makes it impossible to tell how badly it is damaged. upon landing, he opens the cockpit... and discovers that the entire right wing is missing.

primary colors

i've been playing around with the "color accent" function on my camera... it's pretty fun.

getting my name out there

primary election is sometime at the end of august... the 27th, i think. if i remain unchallenged, you will be looking at the youngest member of the waterville town council. if i do have a challenger... hopefully you'll still be working at the youngest member of the waterville town council. i've got at two of the current five town "councilpersons" pulling for me, so i think i've got a pretty decent shot.