'tis mearly a flesh wound!

now, had john kerry come back with an injury like this, he might have actually earned one of his purple hearts.

h/t dave barry

hooray! for political incorrectness

the plank in your own eye, or something like that

so ladies, next time you catch a man checking you out or "ogling" some other attractive female, remember this article.

h/t dave barry

proofreading? we don't need no stinking proofreading!

from the "bizzare duck case" in lynnwood, wa:

The man jumped into the driver's seat of the car as the woman walked out of the store with her duck. Not knowing what was going on, she tried to stop him from driving away and was knocked down by the open car door as it backed up. She dropped the duck.

A Petco employee saw what was happening and "ran to save Peepers from the front of the car" just as Quinlan drove forward, Stern wrote. The car ran over the woman, inflicting serious injuries including broken bones in her foot and ankle, he said.

first off, who worries more about a duck than a woman? that employee definitely has some messed up priorities. but we can worry about those later. for now, back to the the proofreading bit. notice the bit about "serious injuries" in that last paragraph? two paragraphs later, we see this:

The girlfriend and guard were not seriously hurt. Mr. Peepers was OK.

so, we have a few possibilities here:

1) having "serious injuries" is somehow different from being "seriously hurt."
2) this reporter is a really crappy writer, and nobody is proofreading his work.
3) this reporter is a really crappy writer, and his proofreader sucks.

i'm sure there are some other possible explanations, but i can't think of any at the moment.

h/t dave barry

prayer request

for the victims of the shooting at virginia tech, as well as for their families.

i could say "i told you so"

but i'll let the video do it for me:

ummm... duh?

"buy your tickets now, seating is limited!"

maybe it's just because i don't get out much, but i have yet to see any venue where seating is unlimited. you could argue in favor of "the universe," i suppose, although the event would have to be big enough for people in any area of the universe to see. if not, you're probably better off watching it on TV, in which case you really don't need to worry about seating.

Happy Easter!

Thank you Jesus, for dying for my sins, and for continuing to put up with me.

good news, bad news

the good news: some people still have common sense.

ARLINGTON, Texas — Darrell Roberson came home from a card game late one night to find his wife rolling around with another man in a pickup truck in the driveway.

Caught in the act with her lover, Tracy Denise Roberson -- thinking quickly, if not clearly -- cried rape, authorities say. Her husband pulled a gun and killed the other man with a shot to the head.

On Thursday, a grand jury handed up a manslaughter indictment -- against the wife, not the husband.

i have to say, i completely agree with that decision. read the whole article for more context.

h/t protein wisdom

the bad news: unless he changes this position, rudy guiliani just lost my vote for 2008.

"There must be public funding for abortions for poor women," Giuliani says in the speech that is posted on the video sharing site YouTube. "We cannot deny any woman the right to make her own decisions about abortion."

When asked directly Wednesday if he still supported the use of public funding for abortions, Giuliani said "Yes."

........

"Ultimately, it's a constitutional right, and therefore if it's a constitutional right, ultimately, even if you do it on a state by state basis, you have to make sure people are protected," Giuliani said in an interview with CNN's Dana Bash in Florida's capital city.

wrong answer rudy! a woman, poor or not, has no right to use my tax dollars for an abortion. she made the decisions that put her in a position where she "needs" an abortion, she can come up with her own funds for it.

rob at say anything brings up another interesting point: gun ownership is a consitutional right; and unlike abortion, is specifically mentioned in the constitution. does that mean public funds should be used to buy me, and every other american (with the exception of felons, people who can't/don't want to use them for some reason, etc.), a gun?

i'm really hoping now that guiliani loses in the primaries, or 2008 is going to be a really crappy year.

play ball! (updated)

is there anything better than a couple of good bratwursts soaked in guinness on opening night? i submit that there is not.

--update--
except for the part where they wake you up with heartburn at four in the morning.