the "enlightened" ones

over Christmas break, i read what i thought was going to be a fairly interesting book: "The Templar Revelation: Secret Guardians of the True Identity of Christ", by lynn picknett and clive pierce. after reading it, i am forced to conclude that their state of "enlightenment", which they are trying to share with us, is very literally lighter, due to some missing grey matter.

here are some of their conclusions:

1) the great gothic cathedrals in europe are based on "sacred geometry", a closely guarded secret of the master masons. apparently, sex was very important, as the arched entrances to the churches supposedly represent a vagina, while the interior of the church is a womb.

2) Jesus was married to mary magdalene, or at least had sex with her on a regular basis

3) Jesus was a disciple of john the baptist, but they had an argument and Jesus started his own "movement." the authors speculate that Jesus used his political connections to have john killed after he was imprisoned by herod.

4) Jesus was an egyptian magician, initiated into the cult of osiris (or something like that) by mary magdalene, who was actually a priestess of isis (in egyptian mythology, isis was the consort of osiris).

those were some of the more interesting ones. the book started out pretty good, with its in-depth look at the templars and the mysterious priory of sion. but then they really started reaching, stretching facts to absurd lengths to try and prove their thesis. it was like they were trying to build a boeing 747 with nothing more than a roll of tin foil and some scotch tape.

if you read and liked "the da vinci code", you might like it. if you read this book and believe it... well, i've got some prime real estate in florida that i'm willing to sell you. but if you call within the next 30 minutes and use your credit card, i'll double your order, and throw in a free alligator. that's right, you get two lots of prime florida real estate and a complimentary alligator, for only 42 easy payments of $59.95!* if you are not completely satisfied, return the land within 30 days for a complete refund**--but keep the alligator as a free gift! don't delay! call today! the number is: 1-800-968-7-386. that's: 1-800-YOU-R-DUM.

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