movie review

i'm going to steal a page from jeff goldstein... sort of. i was originally planning on doing a movie review in five words or less. but instead, i think i'm going to write a "full" review (probably a paragraph or so worth of sentence fragments) and use the auto-summarize function of word to make it smaller... maybe 5%? i'll figure something out.

movie: green street hooligans
starring: claire forlani, elijah wood, and a bunch of people i didn't recognize.

or maybe not... word sucks. so here's the 5% it came up with, the rest is down below. spoilers are included, if anyone cares. also, this one includes some swearing; fair warning for those who are offended by that sort of thing.

Hatchet goes berserk and kills little brother, which pretty much ends the brawl.


Elijah wood takes the fall for his crackhead roomie at Harvard, gets kicked out and goes to visit his sister in England. Gets caught up with his sister’s husband’s little brother, who leads a soccer/football “firm” called GSE (green street elite), which is basically a gang without guns. says shit, fuck, and possibly bitch. Gets shit beat out of him. Helps beat shit out of some other people. Other firm members find out he was a journalism major—they hate journalists, and think he ratted them out to the papers. Meantime, his sisters husband found out and went to protect him; but people at the pub recognize him as the former leader of the GSE (“the major”), and he gets sucked in for a few drinks. At the same time, a member of GSE who’s fed up with wood betrays the group to a rival firm; the son of the leader (“the hatchet,” or something like that) of said rival firm was killed during a brawl w/ GSE when the major led it. The major gets stabbed in the throat with a broken bottle; pretty fucked up, but he’ll live. Little brother decides to call for a finishing match, which goes well until Claire forlani (the major’s wife) shows up and is about to get the crap kicked out of her, but little brother draws off the attackers by telling the hatchet that it’s his own damn fault his son got killed, he didn’t protect him well enough. Hatchet goes berserk and kills little brother, which pretty much ends the brawl. Wood goes back to America, gets a tape recording of former crackhead roomie confessing to being a crackhead, which he uses to get back into Harvard. The end.

opinion: i don't really like elijah wood, and it was really weird to see him swearing, but overall i'd have to say it was a good movie. don't watch it if you don't like swearing and violence, though... the major reasons it was rated R were for "brutal violence" and "pervasive language," and those are probably understatements.