out of context quotes

which, oddly enough, seem to fit well with each other:

1) "Hey guys, take a look down. Pretty impressive, huh?" maybe i've just got a dirty mind, but i was relieved to find out it was actually a shoe commercial.

2) "For a man, it is natural to use two hands to assist in removing one's penis." --Sir Stephen Richards

that last one was discovered thanks to the tireless efforts of our next president, dave barry.