in search of a good play

alison has already decided that she is a horrible poet. i'm pretty competitive, but since i don't really like poetry--especially writing it--i won't challenge her for worst poet ever. instead, i'm gonna shoot for worst playwright ever. here's a little something i got started on in shakespeare class the other day... if i have time, i'll maximize the horribleness by finishing it.

Actors
Bob, King of Kalamazoo
Kate, a barmaid
A Panda

Act I, Scene I
Setting: the royal court of Kalamazoo

King Bob: Who dares to enter our royal presence?
Kate: Kate the barmaid, your majesty.
King Bob: And what is your purpose here?
Kate: I come to beg for the release
Of my friend the Panda, good my lord.
King Bob: You mean this Panda?
[enter Panda, in chains, escorted by guards]
This Panda was discovered in the royal wine cellar,
Guzzling the roaly wine. For this
The punishment is death. The more so, since his
Blood-alcohol level was thirteen per cent!
Kate: But he's over eight hundred pounds, my lord! That would mean
That he consumed at least forty gallons of wine!
King Bob: Forty-two, to be precise, [Panda belches]
The price of which shall be take out of his hide;
Following this, his flesh shall be served at a banquet
In honor of myself. You are, of course, not invited.
Now leave us.

that's actually all i've got so far. and i was kinda making it up on the spot during class, so i'm not entirely sure where it was going. my partner was actually a theater major, but she was operating on about three hours of sleep, so the play isn't as good as it could have been.

on that note, or really any note you feel like, i need to get back to homework. for those of you still in school, good luck on finals. for those of you already done... [CENSORED].