red state, blue state, wait a minute, which state?

ok, so the title needs some work. but i've been thinking a lot about the whole blue state secession thing. i realize that most people who talk about it aren't actually serious about it, but i still want to put in my two cents. maybe even three, if i'm feeling especially creative/energetic.

also, all of these ideas assume that i'm in charge of the red states, since a lot of the red state inhabitants are more tolerant than i am.

the flyover states
many on the east and left coasts refer to the heartland as the "flyover states", suggesting that they're basically in the way. if they seceeded, the red states would become, instead of flyover states, no-fly zones. any unauthorized aircraft ventured into our airspace, it would be shot first, and questions would be asked later.

international freeway
i have also heard talk of a massive freeway from california to new york, with no on- or off-ramps in between. that assumes, of course, that the red states would allow the construction to take place. and even if they did, there would be a massive fee involved, plus a monthly charge. it would, after all, be taking up valuable farm land.

you and what army?
oh yeah, and over 80% of the military votes republican, which means that if they don't already, they'd end up making their home in one of the red states. we've pinned you blue guys back into the union before, and i don't think we'd have much trouble doing it again.

i was going to write more on this, but i decided to watch the blade movies instead of doing homework, which means now i need to get back to that.