an open letter to the president

inspired by this post over at say anything

Dear George:

Hey, how have things been? I haven't seen you in a few years, and thought maybe we should catch up. I know I left kind of abruptly, but you weren't really using me at all, so I figured you woudn't miss me too much. Unlike my counterpart, who's been hard at work standing up to the loony left and fighting the good fight against terrorism, I was just kind of hanging around. I should have been put to use sticking it to Vicente Fox, illegal immigrants and their supporters--because let's face it, breaking the law is a bad thing--but apparently you decided buying a few votes was more important than doing what's good for the country.
I'm sure you'll need me again at some point, but I've decided to hold myself hostage, as it were; if you ever want to see me again, you need to do something constructive (like a wall) about America's southern border. Support the Minutemen; not financially, but at least vocally. Maybe take some advice from Mr. Gingrich. Yeah, I know he has a funny name, but that doesn't stop him from having good ideas.
Anyways, just wanted to let you know I'm still alive, and that I hope we can get together again sometime soon.

Sincerely,
Your Left Testicle

PS: I'll have moved on after sending this letter, so don't bother trying to track me back to the return address.